Sermon Tone Analysis
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THE ICEBREAKER
*What is an Icebreaker?*
An icebreaker is a simple question that helps people feel comfortable in a group setting.
An icebreaker helps individuals to focus on others.
This sets a good tone for a small group or cell group meeting.
*Why use an Icebreaker?*
Icebreakers are vital to the growth of a small group.
People don't quickly divulge needs and hurts in a group setting.
They have to practice sharing and learn that it's safe to share deep things.
Without icebreakers, your group won't have the freedom to share openly about difficult issues.
Consider an icebreaker as the first step in preparation for swimming.
If you don't learn simple breathing techniques, you'll be frightened and drown!
Small group gatherings are no different.
If you want your group to dive into deep issues, the regular use of an icebreaker will be a great "big toe in the water."
Icebreakers also help you learn things about your cell members that you might never discover otherwise.
At the start on one meeting, the cell leader asked, "What was your favorite toy as a child?"
Most shared about toys like G.1.
Joe or a special car or doll.
One woman said, "I grew up in Germany during WW II and at that time I did not have a toy.
I lived with my sister in an underground tunnel."
As the group began expressing sympathy for her plight, she said, "I didn't need a toy.
I had my sister."
It may have taken months for this shy woman to share this way.
Yet, with this simple question the group saw a new side of her life.
*How Long Should Icebreakers Take?*
There are thousands of questions you can ask a group of people, but only a few will achieve the right goals for your group.
When your group is new, choose icebreakers that will introduce the history of each member (brothers and sisters, the kind of car the family had while growing up, etc.) and questions that will help everybody feel at ease.
("If you were a cucumber, what kind of pickle would you want to be when you grew up?")
\\ The deciding factor is the depth of relationship in the room.
If you've been together for a few months, a serious question such as, "What's the biggest thing that happened to you last week?" is quite appropriate.
*How to Facilitate a Good Icebreaker*
The best way to facilitate a good icebreaker is to share the question and then answer it within the time limit.
Then turn to the person on your right or left and give them an opportunity to share.
This does two things: models the time limit and gives a good example of an answer.
Most folks catch on after one or two responses and don't have to ask for clarification.
Always move around the circle person by person, and ask everyone to hold additional comments until after the meeting.
This tells talkers that they can answer the icebreaker only one time.
It also gives quiet people permission to share so that they are not the last folks to answer the question every week.
Give people permission to "pass" so they won't feel as thought they're being put on the spot.
Some people need more "prep" or "thinking" time than others.
(Remember, speaking in front of a group is 94% of all people's greatest fear.)
Then, when everyone else has answered, ask those who passed whether they'd like to answer.
Most will.
The icebreaker is also one of the best parts of the meeting to delegate to a group member.
It's easy to share this part of the meeting.
Inviting others to lead part of the meeting creates ownership among group members.
*How to Handle the Unexpected During an Icebreaker*
What do you do when someone blurts out something really heavy during the icebreaker?
("I lost my job."
"My father did yesterday."
"My husband walked out on me.")
Thank the person for sharing such a deep need right away.
Then say that you'd like to pray for him or her just after a time of worship, when the cell members are able to minister better.
This way you won't enter a ministry time before preparing your heart, and the entire meeting (and maybe subsequent meetings) won't focus on just one person.
What if someone shares something inappropriate about a spouse, parent or church member during the icebreaker?
These are very embarrassing moments!
Tell the person that this might not be the best time or place to share this kind of issue.
Then turn to the whole group and say, "This group is a safe place.
Here you are loved an no word or action can make us dislike you."
Display unconditional love.
Then move on as quickly as you are able.
There's nothing more embarrassing than dwelling on it.
Occasionally a simple question can hit on deep hurts and needs.
You may ask a simple question like, "How many brothers and sisters do you have, and where did you grow up as a child?"
After three or four responses one of the ladies in the group begins to cry, jumps up sobbing and leaves.
You remember that her sister had died about a year ago.
Outwardly she seemed to be coping well, inwardly she was still privately grieving.
You feel horrible, she's offended at you insensitivity.
Apologize and never assign blame.
Take the blame for her unresolved issue, never making her feel wrong or "less than" for her feeling and reaction.
Even so, it will probably take several weeks for your relationship with her to regain equilibrium.
Plan your icebreaker in advance, after prayer and thoughtfulness.
Bounce it off of a spouse, intern, host or friend.
They may be thinking about people's feelings when you are not, or may know or sense something you have noticed.
(The more choleric or extroverted you are the more people you need to bounce it off of.)
*Take Time to Train Others!*
When you're teaching others how to do this part of the meeting (and you should be), ask them to watch you and give you feedback after the meeting.
Then, give one of them the icebreaker the following week and visit afterward about how it was handled and what needs improvement.
After a couple of times, they will tell you what they would have done better or how great it went.
It's not hard to give away the icebreaker if you model the right way.
It's on-the-job training, and it's the easiest part of the meeting to delegate to an emerging leader, a child, a quiet spouse or a newcomer.
(not a first time newcomer, though)
!
Bad Icebreakers
Bad icebreakers invite people to reveal the hurts and sins of others in the room, group, family, or church or are inappropriate or too personal for a group setting.
If you lead off your group meeting with a question that is inappropriate ("Share the thing you hate most about the person on your left") or "too close for comfort", you members won't answer truthfully or they'll "pass".
If you're not sure whether the question is appropriate, ask.
If anyone rejects it, ask a better question.
The last thing you want to do is alienate your group members in the first five minutes of your meeting.
*10 Icebreakers NEVER to Use!*
* *
1.
What is the biggest stronghold in your life right now?
2. What is one secret you have never told your spouse?
3. Tell us about the time in your life when you felt like a great failure.
4. What event in King David's life can you relate to the most?
(Or any other Bible knowledge question that would alienate people.)
5. What is one thing you would like to change about the person
on your right?
6.
What is the worst name you have ever been called?
7. Turn to the person on your left, and tell us how he or she could be a
better person (or Christian or husband, wife, child)
8. Name a sin of someone in the room so we can pray for that person.
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